For Entry Level Motorcyclists

Aaaah, SCREW motorcycle safety, let's teach the kiddies how to have some irresponsible FUN on a motorcycle! I'm sure they'll refer back to this one what they're 18 and ready to ride! Or 13 and not ready but riding anyway.  

Scary Monsters

Gōjin Ishihara's work graced the pages of numerous kids' books in the 1970s. I think I'm wishing I was born in Kyoto. The Hardy Boys pale in comparison.

A Golden Treasury of Fairy Tales

A Golden Treasury of Fairy Tales. Available thanks to Way Out Junk.


The Ugly Duckling

When Wishnik Eyes Are Smiling

1. The person who sent me this Wishnik album link has never shown signs before of loathing me.

2. Does anyone else look at the album cover and think of Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery"?

3. I just realized the Mr. is on a work-related conference call to Australia in the next room as I am listening to this. Sorry honey, I'm turning it down now!

4. AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Mad Dogs and Gorilla Men

Name the common thread here and win a prize.....Ernie Kovacs, Noel Coward, Debie Reynolds, and Groucho Marx. Answer: This crappy album meant for kids that I'm not convinced is sung completely BY a group of kids. With the unlikely name of the Yum Yum Kids. Backed by the even unlikelier-named MGM Territorial Orchestra. Interested already, aren't you?

Anyway, it's worth the price of admission to hear the line "Did someone call me schnorrer?" from "Hooray For Captain Spaulding" sung by a bunch of goyim moppets. Noel Coward's Mad Dogs and Englishmen and the Nairobi Trio's Solfeggio are just the steaming hot brown gravy on top of the sundae.

Vintage Child Abuse

"Ever Since He Hit Puberty, Timmy Has Been a Voracious Reader"

Vintage Child Abuse (possibly NSFW)

Minstrel Pains

Children need to have a greater respect for the art forms made popular by their great grandparents, and here's the perfect educational album to that end: MFP's Minstrel Show For Children. I particularly enjoyed "Here We Go Gathering Nuts In May" and "Ten Green Bottles". And of course, a version of the perennial favorite "Teddy Bear's Picnic".

RIP Art Clokey

NYT Obit Here
He got ripped off by protestants, doing Davey and Goliath.
He had a daughter with keyhole irises who committed suicide.
He became an acid taking hippie who left his wife and started palling around with Essalen type luminaries
Amazing work that never becomes tiresome.

Развлечения на игровой площадке

Hey kids! Let's go have fun at some Russian playgrounds! Or not.

Tinikling

Try everything in life but incest and folk-dancing.

--quote attributed to Sir Thomas Beechum (also George S. Kaufman)

I remember being tortured with learning the Filipino folk dance "Tinikling" back in grade school, and was mysteriously drawn to downloading this album from A Closet of Curiosities.

To perform the Tinikling, the two kneeling on the floor get to rhythmically whack bamboo poles together and on the floor, and the unfortunate dancers are required to artfully prance in between. There was ample opportunity for "oops! missed the beat" and slam your poles together when either Toni Tennen or Ellen Sturm's ankle was situated between. Unfortunately, pole slammers eventually had to become prancers, and revenge was sweet.

For those of you fortunate enough to have bypassed Tinikling in grade school, there's also some joy in listening to a bossy Filipino woman named Miss Carmencita providing you with "Bamboo Beating Instructions".... and for the more advanced, "Bamboo Beating to Music".

Inka Dinka EWWWWWW

When Michael from Boot Sale Sounds says This version (of Inka Dinka Doo) is the most excruciating I have ever heard and worth the price of the LP alone!
you KNOW I'm hitting "download" as fast as I can. And he's not kidding....this Filipino moppet makes Little Marcy sound like Jello Biafra by comparison. Diabetics, please have medical assistance standing nearby.

Palhaço Yê-yê-yê

Richard from the very excellent Bongos/Flutes/Guitars was kind enough to send me a link to this frightening album by a Brazilian clown backed by a children's choir (I have night sweats just thinking about it) from Mundo Estranho de PB. Actually, the Aladdin's Lamp song turns out to be pretty catchy, I may have to start a Brazilian Clown playlist for my iPod.

Here are our clown friends, in action:



Also found at Mundo Estranho de PB: a ton of Japan disco and pop, some odd Brazil psychedelica, Stockhausen, Fred Frith, Claudine Longet....you get the idea, "diverse" doesn't even begin to describe the site.

I Wanna Time Machine for Christmas

The music is as excruciating bad as you might imagine, but the album cover is pretty cool. If you really have an overwhelming need to hear elderly men all on the brink of dying from strokes pretending to sing like children, you can get it here.

Only YOU Can Prevent Forest Fires

Way Out Junk has the perfect story to listen to before naptime, Smokey Bear with Ranger Hal. The ABC fire safety hoe-down and the poison ivy song are particularly excellent. So build yourself a blanket tent, grab some Ovaltine & settle in.

Prevent your kids from molding prematurely

1954.05.08 Saturday Evening Post P153
Originally uploaded by Wishbook

Thrill-a-minute Adventure

Though the promise may be somewhat overstated, this 1950's British children's book does feature a number of great illustrations and artwork. Despite somewhat ho-hum fiction - I'm surprised to find myself thumbing through it again and again.

Check out the complete photo set at Flickr.

Kazoomzoom!

Kazoomzoom.com (the finished online product initially announced here as Oddio Kids) is "the world's first netlabel devoted to children. We are making history together! The netlabel features music for kids (by kids and by cool grownups), as well as audio stories, videos, printable books and paper toys. All of it is free to stream and download."

For example you can download and enjoy some silly songs (you can sing and play along even if you're a grown-up). Or how about some Ragtime Era Favorites?

The website is very new and will have much more to offer in a near future.

If you are interested to participate in any way please check the Kazoomzoom blog.

Now, let's grab a kid and sing along with Pastor McPurvis:
Boomp3.com

Note to Kurt: Chill. I know this is probably a very scary site for you - Hug a teddybear or something. Don't be afraid.

Audio: Paternal Flatulence and Child Development

An audio story of Dad's (Lex09) digestive tract antics over at GlyphJockey. Deftly and cleverly produced by my genius lad (Lex11), possibly award winning. Full of cusses. He promises me he will do the rest of the audio in a couple of installments. Even juicier stuff. Make him do it.



....all last names have been "backwardized" to maintain anonymity.
Also, in case you're bad with math, that's me telling the story.

Oddio Kids

"Oddio Overplay is pleased to announce the launch of the world's first netlabel devoted to children, Oddio Kids, featuring recordings by kids, recordings of fun music by grownups, audio stories and printable books and toys!! You -- kids and adults -- are invited to participate.

We need your help:

° Musicians and Musicmakers
° Visual Artists (for cover art, print toys, stories)
° Label Staff
° Story Readers and Story Writers
° Sound Effect and Music Techs

There is also a design contest where you can submit your ideas and win $50 (US). Don't worry about the way things look now. The site will be awesome looking in a couple of weeks after the illustrators get their hands on it. This is historical, after all, as the first kids netlabel ever!"

Learn more over at ... Oddio Kids! (via Blogio Oddio)

You're a Winner on Stop and Go-Go

There is something so soothingly dull about this clip from a vintage children's program made in Chicago....with the lo-tech (really, no-tech) effects, spasmodic juvenile dance moves, and insufferably peppy hostess.

Be sure to seek out the other two "Kiddie A-Go-Go" clips, the program intro and the exciting visit from the special in-studio guests The New Colony Six.

I had white go-go boots like those, too.