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Saturday, August 16, 2008

The Height of Elegance. Period.

This, as a red blooded insensitive male covered in rippling muscle, astounds me.

I RSS Absurdly Cool Freebie Finder to see what free stuff I can get (don't laugh! Art in America, MAD, a Fluke voltage tester, delightfully effective laxatives, travel toothpaste for the stupid TSA & more) and the RSS feed is sometimes less than descriptive,

So when I saw "free sample of Simply Discrete" I looked at it, expecting who knows what.

I saw this:

My favorite line is "believe me, these were not staged.."

Then I saw this:

and I realized this was a product so you could dress up soiled sanitary pads to look like little gifts for the next poor bastard forced to peer into your can full of lady-leavings!! Brilliant !! Quintessential Creating-need-where-there-is-none!!!

Rose scented, no less!

Now, I know not to piss or crap on the toilet seat, for instance, or the value of a courtesy flush- but gift wrapping trash? I thought the modern woman celebrated her flow, the more robust the better!! But, I suppose it takes all kinds, those gals that leave a pad draped over the wastebasket rim like a slice of New york pizza hanging out of a dumpster, as well as the dainty princess in crinoline, coiffed and perfumed with excellent nails, taking the care to leave a delightful pink present so that the landfill's feelings aren't hurt. Al Gore, it's time you wised up about people's REAL needs!

Well, like I said - I'm astounded, but I do have a memory of my sister and/or Mom making massive spheres of toilet paper as their pad camouflage protocol. I mean really a lot - like a softball or something.... didn't know what it was but was never tempted to unfurl to find out....

Sisters! Fling free!