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Sunday, April 26, 2009

Hobbies for Shut-Ins

If you find yourself with a lot of spare time due to, say, house arrest or being unable to fit through your bedroom door for the past year due to excessive obesity, you may be interested in this exciting opportunity to learn a skill that was effectively outdated by the Nixon Era--ventriloquism. With the help of this album by Jimmy Nelson on "Juro Celebrity Records" (Celebrity? Who are they kidding!) you too can master the techniques of throwing your voice, provided you are prepared to spend countless hours in front of mirror watching for errant movement in your lips. And remember, kids, you don't even need a ventriloquist's dummy, your hand and a fright wig will suffice.