Carl Howard

Ladies and Gentlemen, here's Carl Howard, the winner of the latest entry-contest.

Who are you?

I am distinguished from monocellular micro-organisms by the fact unlike them, I do not spend 17 hours a day at the local Bowl-A-Rama. In contrast, I am not an AmeriKKKan religio-fascist who believes that if I just push the right buttons and fill the right pockets, I can single-handedly initiate The Rapture.

Do you believe in the Pope?

I believe in the secular power of the Papacy, because the hypnotic spell cast by that office over millions of Roman Catholics and other Christians can not be denied. However, the history of the Papacy bears out that its alleged moral mandate falls flat at the bottom line: POWER. Therefore, the idea that the Pope represents an other-worldly authority is a tragic and long-standing joke.

Do you believe in dope?

I believe in Dope, and in Rope. I would like to believe in Hope, but not in this sick fucking AmeriKKKa. Therefore, lacking currency with which to procure a parcel of Dope, I shall instead Mope.

Carl is The Host for the legendary Space Patrol show at Luxuriamusic.com.

Update: Learn more about Carl by reading my short interview with him Wednesday, September 22, 2004 on this very blog.