It is Christmas eve and Roy has popped round to enjoy a warming glass of Glühwein and help me affix tinsel to Jetta.
'Ach,' says Roy suddenly, 'I find I have forgotten to obtain a Christmas present for my Mother who is wintering at Baden.'
I sip my Glühwein carefully and remark, 'This will lead to familial tensions and unseasonal strife.'
'It is so,' says Roy.
'You know,' I say thoughtfully. 'It strikes me that the best gift a son can give his mother is himself.'
'What you say has a certain validity yet how are we to dramatize this concept in such a way that my mother will not merely feel gypped out of a present?'
'Perhaps if we were to wrap you in Christmas wrapping paper and convey you to Baden.'
'Also,' says Roy, rising. 'You will wrap me in Christmas wrapping paper and convey me to Baden at once.'
'Regrettably I find we have run out of wrapping paper and the shops have now closed. Logically some substitute will have to be found.'
'Yes, that is logical, but I cannot think what.' Roy looks around the room seeking that in which he may be wrapped.
My mouth is dry. I tickle Jetta's paws idly and say, 'You know, I believe I may have some cling-film in the kitchen.'" (Excerpt from 'Roy in Clingfilm at Christmas')
Mr. Ulrich Haarbürste likes to write stories about Roy Orbison being wrapped up in cling-film. If you have written any stories about Roy being completely wrapped in clingfilm please send them to him and he may put them up on his site.
Well?? What are you waiting for folks?!?!?!